Simplicity

Human beings are complex, living behind our own masks we become masters of illusion and expert chameleons. Shaping our identity to the environment or social group around us, like that off a master sculpter. We lose little peices of ourselves as we allow people to chip away our identity to shape their own design into what they want us to be. Then we wonder why we feel disconnected from the world around us, why we no longer feel happiness in the things we once loved. We ask ourselves who am I? who am I really outside of the labels and the tribal culture? Who am I outside of a friend? a daughter? a lover? a sister? and so on. An existential crisis grips us in its talons, we seek answers, until finally, we realise the more we learn the less we know. 

Complicating our life wastes time, it turns into guess work - what is that person thinking or feeling? We forget simplicity, to ask, instead we punish ourselves over why we feel a particular way instead of accepting that it is what it is. When we free ourselves from our idealised selves we connect with who we are. The simple things are often the hardest things to realise. We over think everything down to the tiniest detail, people come to us for help and we listen, but we tell ourselves that our problems are insignificant. 

We paint the vision that we are living a perfect life, that we have everything under control, that our marriage is without fault, we compartmentalise our life into messy and tidy - black and white, good and bad. A great example of this is a Taoist story about a farmer and his horse: 

'There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked on his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied.The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the old man.The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.'

The meaning of it is simple, no matter what 'bad' things happen in the farmers life, something that is disguised as a bad thing births a good outcome and so on. 'We see black and white, right and wrong, good and bad, but it’s fluid. One is melting into the other, even contained inside the other. These things aren’t contradictory they’re complimentary. They’re two parts of a greater whole. There is just what is. And it’s good. (And bad.)' 

We all have our own problems they maybe neither be good or bad, or both but each problem matters. Sometimes by putting others first, we teach other people that we come last.  Life does not need to be complicated, life does not need to be just black and white. Simplicity allows us to focus on what matters and reach the root of the problem: if you feel alone – talk to someone, if you feel misunderstood – explain to people what is going on for you. If you realise a new dream – go for it and if you are uncertain about something – ask.

~ Han