Gratitude & Ignorance

Humanity lives in a culture that is afraid to ask questions because its deemed impolite, naïve or even nosey. Obviously, there is a level to which we cannot cross such as offensive questions, but I am referring to questions that stimulate our knowledge, our basic understanding and widens our world view.

I was in a taxi and usually I would think of various questions but hold them back, wondering what that person might be like, what they believed in, what they are passionate about and so on. He brought up that he had been to prayer earlier this morning and usually I would have held back asking. Today I was feeling particularly bold and decided to speak up “I hope you don’t take offence from this question, but can I ask what your culture is like, - what are the kinds of things people pray about?” and to my surprise he responded warmly and passionately about his faith. I found the inspiration to write this and new perspectives I otherwise would have been blind too.

He told me that Friday is a holy day, every Friday they go to pray, they begin by naming what they were grateful for – grateful for their eyesight, for their healthy bodily functions, to hear and so on in every minuscule detail. I was really surprised, because the idea was so wonderful, I emphasised how people can go about their day taking all these things for granted, and it is only when they get sick, or disabled that we begin to mourn our loss and become increasingly aware of the large hole it has left in our lives.

Stop for a moment, and just observe the world outside, find your nearest window and open it - appreciate everything with fresh eyes, what do you see, hear and smell. Explore mindfully like you are discovering the world for the first time, the pattern of the leaves, the feel of the wind as it brushes against your cheek, the sounds you can hear, the colours you can see, your ability to get up to walk to a window – thank your body you are not paralysed, if you are, thank your body that you can still see, if you lack sight or are losing your sight thank your body for giving you ears to listen to all that goes around you to alert you of any danger.  

It got me thinking, if we all wake up every morning and thought about what we were grateful for, for the things we have - not the things we lacked, we would all be much more wholesome because of it. The taxi driver talked about celebrating our uniqueness, how we never know how one seed may grow into a tree that leans one way or one bush to be shorter than the other, we’re all unique and our environment and various influences make it so.

After such a wholesome conversation appreciating all that life has to offer us I was left wondering how much better our world be if we just asked politely. If we ask about people’s cultures, people’s health problems, their mental health and so on instead of misunderstanding them and making snap judgments based on the extremist perceptions we see in the media. How much that I, being a person living with chronic pain, would prefer for people to ask me questions instead of suddenly pretending to be an expert on pain mentioning all these 'miracle cures', treatments that I have tried countless times to no avail, or just to think happier thoughts and mentally the pain that is 'just in my head' will go away. These are all responses that do little to help those living with pain, if anything pretending to give this advice just makes it worse like we haven't been trying hard enough. For example just because I am wearing makeup one day does not mean that all of a sudden I am better and yes, I have been asked this and these experiences and misconceived ideas are very familiar to those who live with pain.  

Just asking and letting our pride go, admitting that we do not know everything or have all the answers - our world can be expanded that much further. We may discover something fascinating, instead of seeing the world from our own perspective developing labels, assumptions and preconceived ideas that things are just so because that’s what we think - instead of going out to discover them for ourselves.

I had a daunting conversation with another taxi driver yesterday, I was returning from the hospital stumbling to the car and he bluntly told me ‘you don’t look sick – what’s wrong with you’ I was too stunned to respond and spent most of the journey avoiding any interaction. Just because we think something is the way it is, doesn’t mean that it is, I know that sounds very confusing, but just think for a moment, because a person ‘doesn’t look sick’ doesn’t mean that they aren’t, it doesn’t mean that they’re not suffering in some shape or form either with pain or mental illness. Invisible illnesses do exist just because you cannot see it does not mean that it is not there, just because you have not experienced it, does not mean that it is impossible. Our culture should not be so close minded to its perceptions upon disability, health and religion. If we all just asked, communicated, instead of developing our own tightly wound prejudices and misconceptions there would be less shrouded mystery and our world would be a better place.